we got two weeks left..

feb 16 2025 4:37pm

I can't believe that we got only two weeks for Febuary. Crazy how this month is so short..Last night i drew a st pattys layout but iam not exactly sure if i like it or not.. may use it i dunno yet for sure..well see if i do decide to put it up i will set it up tomorrow in the afternoon. but anyways dads been going to thereapy every Monday and Thursday and its just a hassal for me to wake up super early and at that place the seats are not that comfortable to sit there an hour.. they need coushion. i dunno i go for supprort and to sit with my mom so she don't feel nervious..they were talking about how my aunt gave up her life so fast and we all think she could have fought and lived longer. i am sure she thought that if she lived who was going to take care of her but im sure her kids would have watched and took good care of her more then she would know.. my cousin told my mom that her brother dreamed of my aunt being alive and i thought it was werid cause after someone has passed away i have never dreamed of anyone being alive in my dream and me and my mom don't believe in any of that.. I belive that god gives us messages but everyone have dreamed of always has been dead in my dream. its pretty sad that she had a chance to live and she choose not to..they all divided her ashes to her grand kids and the pastor told them they wherent supposed to do that..we where thinking how do you know if you have her, might have a toe, or a leg and arm maybe.. i mean it makes you think.. anyways it was pretty hot the last 2 days from 70s and 80s and then the next day my mom told me to turn off the ac cause it was already cold outside again. back to 20 and 30s and im like i just dont know what to wear anymore. i wanna buy some boots and skinny jeans to be comfortable but umm i dunno if i should get some and how long its going to be cold.. i know all next week its gonna be cold anyways.. kids where off last week for winter break. Monday they return it was a nice break but now back to waking up again.. lol its funny but the dog has been sitting at the end of the bed and just staring at me lol..so funny. i changed phones from iphone 15pm to galaxy s24u and im pretty happy. there is tons and tons of themes to make your phone super cute and i love how you can apply the theme and it just does everything for you in a couple of secounds lol..I'll always have a soft spot for apple but it was time for a chnge. honestly i was getting bored with apple.. but they do got my heart. if i ever get tired of samsung s24u i'll go back. for now i am happy eith the phone..anyways i just wanted to come on here and update.. sorry cpanel was down over the weekend.. its back up and running.. well talk to you guys later...

Today was a better day..

Feb 7 2025

Called to the doctors so i can go get in and get a check up and then i need refills for my meds. Hopefully they can change my diabeties meds cause they are making me sick again. I can't keep going on feeling that way..So cross fingers they give me something else.. So i watched that new movie on Netflix its called. Kinda Pregnant lol It was so funny i couldn't stop laughing. Now I am Watching "Cassandra" its good so far. But i'll probably see it till i finish it tonight. Not much is going on the fact that Texas weather is being super hot this week is crazy.. Its been in the 70s and 80s. I am not cut out for this heat.. Tremors tend to be really bad when its hot so i need to stay in the ac as much as possible. I been trying to take my meds on time so that it does work on how i feel with it. I dont wish anyone to have this its horriable. Feels like your whole body just vibrates on its own. Like u can't control it. I hate it. But i dunno maybe its something that runs in the family. My mom was telling me that she thinks my aunt might of had it. When it is really bad i tend to fall. Couple of times i just end up hurting myself. Anyways It's been a crazy week with the drama that started at the bus stop the other day. I don't know why people have to lie on what happen. It just crazy Just be honest gesh.. Anyways im gonna get going? can't believe next week is Valentines day.. Rach reminded me that and i was like whaa lol.. Ugh i dont want to know haha.. jk.. Hope you all are doing ok out there and that your days are going great.. talk soon!

My Aunt Died January 28th 2025/ My sons birthday today.

Feb 5 2025

Well my Aunt Died January 28 2025. It seemed to be a fast call. We got the call at 12 midnight when my cousin called my mom and told her that my aunt had died. It makes me sad that she gave up to fast. I understand she thought about who was going to really take her care of her. I mean my Cousin works and her son works so it would have been hard for anyone to take care of her and Just thinking if she died in the house. How do you clean that mess up after everything comes out of them. But we all think she could have fought that and Keep going but she gave up and said it was just way to hard for her to deal with. Maybe it was a sad excuse so just go back to Heaven. Ofcourse there was alot of drama going on with the family and money wise. I guess my cousin made a go fund me page.I don't really know what really happen. But i guess it created some Drama. Who knows. But I hope that everyone just got to say goodbye and Even though i didnt get that chance to say good bye, I was able to talk to her when she told me happy birthday and i told her i loved her. I guess some way that was my goodbye. Even though Those times are the worst when you feel like you can't just go see her. We didnt even go to the Funreal. I think my mom doesn't really believe in going, How ever She saw her when she was alive and they laughed. So she was happy to see her then. They decided to Cremate her after all and all the little grand children got a little pc of necklace and i dont know what else they got. But It was something to but her ashes in. My mom doesnt believe in that either. So shes like how do you know if you got her, or a toe or a the butt part lol. I mean when you really think about it. What body part do you have..It makes sense.. Is it achually her ashes or someone else. I mean it makes you really think about that one. But shes no longer with us anymore. Its just sad that she didn't want to fight ya know. My dad is 77 Tomorrow and no matter what he has fought through this cancer and thank god he is still standing. Let alone his heart was working 20% and some how God Saved his life. God is Awesome.

Today is my sons 17th Birthday. He is bugging me to go pick up his card at the mail, but i told him wait till tomorrow cause his uncle came over. We all sang Happy Birthday and Now he just wants games lol.. Im like boy you need clothes lol. Thats Kids for you. They would rather have money and games then what they really need. Im gonna work on the new layout tonight. I was hoping no distractions but ugh. Guess I will be in and out coding this new layout. But i just wanted to update yall on whats really going on.. I have to wash clothes , call the doctor and i have to dye my daughters hair so i will be busy these coming days so i want to get this new layout up.. but i hope everyone is doing good.. Tomorrow is Dad's Birthday. He says hes gonna be 14 lol.. I said yur gonna be 77 or 78 lol.. he don't know i dont think. My brother said i think hes gonna be 82 lol.. anyways talk to you later. Gotta go code and work.. Hope it dont take long.. ttyl

not doing great

january 26 2025

well where do i begin? my aunt has been in the hospital for a month and shes gave up treatments and wants to go home already. i know my moms not doing ok cause that is her sister. they are not close but my mom still cares and it still hurts no matter what. She had fluids around her heart and her kidneys where not doing that great. my aunt didnt really take care of her self and she is where shes at now.. my aunt always held on to grudges and i never really understood that. cause ive always learned that letting go was a sign of relief and to always leave that up to god. no one is perfect we all make mistakes and some of us keep making mistakes no matter what. we all are learning to live and move on.. but as the days passed and my aunt is still breathing.i guess well see when shes ready to go. it sucks. they gave her morphine so she can be comfortable. they asked my mom if she wanted to go to the hospital and she said no. all her grandkids and kids are their. i dont think i would bring my little kids to see her leave this world. even though my kids understand i still wouldnt let them see that. its not a place to bring them. i mean you can explain to them why they dont wont see that person and explain to them what heaven is like. she told me happy birthday on the 5th and that she loved me and i told her that i loved her to. but i didnt get to see her in the hospital. cause its like 2 hours from me but my mom and dad got see her one last time..its just such a sad month and crazy cause my cousin died on january 5th and now my aunt might die in this month.. i started thinking of my friend who i dated when i was 20. i had wished that he lived a little longer so i could hear his voice one last time, or talk to him again.. he always found a way to make me laugh and that i mattered to him. life is so short you know. you just never know when your time comes. on another note my dad might need surgery again. they said that they think maybe the cancer is back but we dont know for sure. God i hope not cause thats alot of stress on my mom to pile up on her. just helping her the best i can no matter what.. spending as much time as possiable. which is why i have put off dating longer to be expected. i want to date but at the same time i dont want to leave the house and be away from my parents cause they might need me ya know. I do feel lonely and just want to live a happy life. but then i start thinking like why do i have to explain to someome why i took a 2 hour nap lol.. i dont know.. maybe someone to talk to would help.. ahh i plan to do another layout for valentines day. but i fell off the stairs 2 weeks ago. i guess i needed to fall for this year and well i end up hurting my leg and my right hand when i try to streach it, well it hurts pretty bad. even though i didnt fall on that hand i guess i must have pulled something like trying to hold on or something.. i should be resting it but i blogged today and yesterday i drew princess diana on rachs website..lol.. skiping the fact it should be restingno matter what.. anyways i hope everyone else is doing good.. please pray for my family.. thank you. talk soon..

Happy New Year 2025

January 4 2025

Well its about 1am here and i finally coded something new. This Layout is Way different then what i normally do but i was getting tired of the preppy look. Some layouts i my go back to the preppy but for now i think i am just going to take my time to draw them out and see how i want everything to lay out ya know. Just trying to be different this year. So how was everyones holiday? Mine eh not that great to be honest. Kids got what they wanted. I just got my son some games and some outside food. My daughter got a computer she has been wanting. I really wanted to get a new phone for my birthday but it didn't work out that way. Oh well. May be at the end of this month. So i been cleaning none stop and have been getting rid of tons of stuff. I just want to donate everything cause its getting on y nerves to see things. Trying to till the kids to start on their rooms nd get rid of clothes that they no longer use anymore. Someone else probably needs them. or is looking for new clothes. Well i hope you like this new layout. I worked really hard on this one and i also changed Love Acid well the puppies are getting bigger. They are 4 weeks old and they are playing and they are just so cute. No teeth though. I cleaned out their little cage and threw away some more stuff. ugh i am exhaused lol. I have been doing alot of stuff today.. well i guess thats all for today. talk to you all soon. My Birthday is Sunday!

Christmas is in a couple of days.. crazy

Dec 22 2024

I was just relizing that My best friend that died in 2019 has been gone 4 years. Crazy and then it brought back memories when me and my mom was talking about it. Seeing my dad age and Forgetting is so heartbreaking and not being able to remember things from one day to another. He is seeking Thereapy. I know it won't cure it it but i hope that it helps ya know. So Seeing my dad is such a bad mood is crazy to see him act that way towards my mom. My Kids see it to and i tell them that he is getting older so he is becoming for grouchy ole man and they understand that.. He got the Christmas tree down from the Attic and My son helped but he ended up falling so we rushed to see if he was ok. Between me and my brother and my mom and my son checked up on him and sat with him so we could see if he was ok. So scary. He don't want to ask for help with nothing he has always been a strong person and has done everything for us.. It's just things like that. He also needs to have surgery asap cause you know the tubs that you use a restroom well its need to repaied but he is scared they will put him on a bag and we are like if u go and have it done sooner that wont even happen. But the VA is taking their sweet time about it. Hopefully after Christmas They will have something set up asap. He needed to be there like last week. I hate the doctors at the VA cause they take there sweet time about it.. My mom made hot chocolate tonight and earlier today we went to pass out cookies and hot chocolate and stockins to the kids and my son went and helped. Im not in the mood for any of it and i didn't really feel that great. Im just not that excited for Christmas this year. My son got a gift from his grandma in califorina and She told him what it was and well that just ruined everything for me and him. He said he asked her why she said anything and she never said anything. We where just telling him maybe she was excited so she told him lol.. I thought she would have sent my daughter something and well she never did. Its fine if she don't I mean for soo many years shes pretty much have gave her something, money and whatever else she wants So i am very gre8tful for that. Knowing that Its not her Grand child she always included her no matter what.. Well its been a crazy month. I didnt really want to change the Layout because this year i wasn't feeling the holidays. For me it came to fast and I just really didn't have any money to get what the kids wanted. They did ask for food lol; 2 funny.. But i was able to get something they can open on Chritmas. I got them all including my nephew a Giant Kit kat lol.. So i know they will like that.. I got them cookies and My son wanted to Go christmas shopping for everyone and get them two gifts lol. So that week i was broke.. I was trying to save up for My daughters Laptop and im getting a gift for me which is a new cell phone for me for christmas/birthday since its so close. Anyways im gonna end this. Just Im not gone just dealing with alot of stuff at the moment. Talk soon. Hope you all have a awesome Christmas.talk soon!

Can't believe its December

Dec 5 2024

Can't believe we have a month to go before new years.. That is crazy i think this year went pretty fast and for me to catch up im not ready. Honestly not that excited for Christmas this year. Im struggling. I do what i can for the kids but every year as they get older they ask for new things and they are expensive. Trying to save money cause these year they are both asking for the Steam Deck. My son already got his and now i just have to get my daughters. Its just so expensive now like nothing is cheap anymore. Every where its just way to much for the things they want. They understand which is cool but they are kids so they always think i am rich lol. And at that age who really thinks about money lol you just seen things you really want. I know i was there alot of time growing up. I wanted computers, laptops and I remember one year i wanted a nano Those where in back then even my ex got me one for Christmas one year and i had that thing saved with music afther about 5 years later he asked if he could have it so he could use it to work out and I was like go ahead and take it I wasn't using it anymore. So He ended up taking it and using it. Probably doesnt even have it anymore lol. I as like all my music and pictures where stored on that thing. I gave it to him with all of that on it lol.. But yea and then i think he bought me a phone and ipad I think i can't remember He pretty much spoiled me but Like i was telling my friend that he is a good provider but the only thing that was wrong with him was that he was Verbal abusive. Wish things could have been better but those are things i remember. Like the other day one of the dogs threw up and i asked my son if he saw anything and he said no. Well i ended up finding out it was in the hallway i was gaggy lol and my son came out and he said Where is it at. Im like its there and i said im not gonna pick it up cause my stomach turned and i just don't have the stomach to pick it up. So he said i'll be right back. Well he Picked it up with no problem LOL and it made me laugh cause his dad would do the same thing when i said i couldnt do it, he never complained he would just go pick it up. I got a mini him now. He acts like him but he is more like me in other ways. He raised my Daughter and thats not her dad but She picked up on things that he does like, Share foood and eats pizza with ranch and thats how he use to eat his pizza lol..Probably still eats it like that to.. But Just Memories like that have stuck with me afther about 10 years i think its been maybe longer. I stop counting lol. Yesterday was super cold and My dad had a ct and a MRI scan yesterday. I thought it was going to take forever but it was pretty quick we where out of there an hour. Me and my mom got talking about that Series "From" and What we think might be happening. Ive heard some Thoreys and they make sense. I told her we have to wait till 2026 to watch season 4. Im like i don't know why they are making us wait that long.. By then we might crack the code lol.. If you havent seen it. You MUST see it. They say its the most scareest show but its not scary. Its good so many puzzles though.. If you ever seen "lost" thats another one i think im gonna try and re watch that one. Anyways the chickes have been making eggs almost eceryday so free eggs is good and ofcourse fresh eggs are the best.. Anyways I am going to add some facebook covers while i am done bloggin. Talk soon!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all from all of us.

November 28th 2024

Its been a long week. It started off my dad being sick and then He kept seeing blue and we are not sure why but his eyes where all good they are just not sure why he sees blue sometimes. So Going back to the doctors and getting stuff done. All next week My dad has apointments all over again. Hes gotta check for his monthly testing. I am more then sure everything is ok. But he has to be chcked regardless.. So I moved on from desiging phone wallpapers and i been working on facebook covers and i drew about 50 of them. I will try and upload those Maybe tomorrow or Friday. Well see though. I am also Going to go over what Sub domains i want to keep. I like them all but i want to get rid of some.. Having to do like 10 layouts is insane lol.. Maybe i'll combine them all. Well see anyways My mom didnt want to cook thanksgiving so we are all going to go eat at a buffet with the family.. Well just my brothers and i and my mom and dad. But i hope you all have a save thanksgiving. talk soon!

Wow Thanksgiving is next week..

November 20th 2024

I can't belive that this month went pretty fast.. My daughter already asking when do i get paid lol she wants to try a new place out. They have pizza there so we might try that out at the end of this month anyways. My dad felt Dizzy and started throwing up so we watched him and made sure he was ok. It wasnt looking to good for him and my mom said this morning she thought she was gonna have to call 911. Hes not really eating that great cause he has no teeth so its very hard for him to eat food. So The VA sent him those insure so he can have something in his stomach. He just might have to go back to eating soups and i was thinking the other day that he might have to eat baby food. Just so he is able to eat something. My son asked if he was going to fix the sink so he did that yesterday and my son helped him do that but got worried about it. Hes ok we just have to make sure one of us is near by incase he falls or can't get up. He started to use his walker and he is very stuburn about using it. He doesnt think he needs it but he does. We are all getting older so we need the help to get on by. He is gonna get those handicapped tags and everyone seems to be excited to use that lol.. So i think my dads gonna get on his truck and then on my brothers incase they go somewhere he has one.. But everyone wants to park in the front lol.. I hate to see them getting older but i am also glad that i am around to watch them get to stores and ect. Making sure they put their card up and don't forget. I have a habit on asking whered u put the card at.. Anyways I felt sick yesterday like all of sudden i couldnt move I dunno if its cause the day before yesterday we made califorina rolls and its really not filling when u eat those you have to eat like 20 or so just to really get full on it. I think my brain was like well u didnt eat so u need to eat to feel ok. I eat later in the day and then seemed to be ok so i guess it was that..Then today my mom said she felt sick so i told her to get some ginger ala its good for burping and that seem to help her little but she was feeling it this a while ago before bed. I told her we need to get candy to suck on when we feel that way. Atleast for nauses. I found some amazon so i will buy some when i have money to have tha ton hand for them both.. I wish the doctor priscribed me something for that cause no matter what day i tend to have that issue and its so uncomfortable. I guess when i am gonna do is probably buy some chewable so that i can always have on hand for that. Days are going by Pretty fast. I can't beleive that we have 35 days before Christmas and im not looking forward to Christmas this year. The kids hit me with they wanted a new cansole and im like oh boy. She wants one and he wants one $700 all together.. Why does things cost so much? Im like if i get u that you will have only one gift and thats it. Well see ..If his dad buys him one and then i can buy her one and everyone is happy.. Anyways I decided to put up 35 wallpapers. I like making them but im wondering if they should have their own page hmm.Well see if not i'll just leave them here. Well thats all im gonna talk about. Hope yall is well and take cre ;)

Saturday...

Nov 16 2024

I first Orgnized the links to the wall papers, I added more Phone wallpapers for you guys. Working on more But for now i was able to add 2 more pages on the Quotes so there is more colorful ones. Gonna try to add as much as i can every week.. So far they all look good. When you click on them they will be bigger. Well today was another busy day. Had to fill our jugs of water to last us. We need our water :).. Helping my mom decided what else we should make to sell. Dads Losing his memory which sucks but he is going to see someone but it won't cure it but it'll help him. Its just so sad to see him that way. I look at old pictures and it just makes me sad of how much he has come and what he has been through. He has always been a very strong man. Im just Glad no matter what he is here. Thats all that counts and i am here to help as much as i can. Everything is something new. We have to go into town again and Get dog food. We are almost out. But yea my mom made chili today and we eat it all lol it was good. It was cold the other two nights and then now its like in the 70s but since the house sits up high its a little cooler up here. Ofcourse i got my Window and my Fan on lol couldn't sleep with out it. I started to put my dog back in the cage..i hate doing that but in the last two weeks ago shes been digging in the trash and i stop giving her human food cause she got sick and well ended up using the restroom in the room. She wasn't doing any of that stuff. I take her out 3 times a day and sometimes 4 and she used the restroom in the hallway. I don't think she really learned. But she had been doing really good and now shes acting bad. I dunno if its cause i stopped giving her human food or what. Then when i did that i started giving her dog food cause i want her to be able to eat that. She waited a whole week and i got so worried about her. Now shes back to eating it. But once she starts acting good again. I'll let her sleep with me at night. I know its Probably pretty cold at night when it starts to get colder. I don't leave her all day. It just for the night and then she still hanging out with me during the day. She needs to be able to come out and drink water and play with the other dogs and I think shes food ddicted lol atleast to human food anyways.. Well the Doc picked up my anxieyy meds higer. I was having two attacks last week it was right after another. I was like i can't handle this feeling. I don't wish anything on anyone. Mine is Horriable I mean even if i get it to where i start to feel a little better with out even thinking it just appears. I try to go hang out with my mom and talk to her So that feeling can go away but its just so bad that even that dont help and a while ago i started to feel it again and im like oh no please don't start i can't handle the feeling. I started to work on the wallpapers I wanted them lined up in away where they showed up smaller and then when you click it would show the bigger size. I figured that out and then tested it and Then fixed all the other pages. That seem to help some atleast for now ya know. Amyways im gonna go ahead and get off. I am going to eat my ice cream and watch a movie. Let me know if you like the phone wallpapers. I need some feedback.. Alright hav a good weekend :)

Well November is here..

November 7 2024

Wow November got here pretty fast. Crazy huh. Some of the weather the other day was pretty cool outside so i left my window open and my fan on and went to sleep early but then like today it ended up being super hot and im like where is this cold. But that is Texas for you. So its like you can't decide which clothes to keep out and which ones to leave out lol.. Ugh . Well its been a pretty good week. I went to go see my Mental health doctor. I had to see someone different cause the lady i was seeing i guess she don't work there anymore and that pretty much sucks. So this one is a guy and he seemed to be really nice. He asked if i really have bi polar so That was something he wanted to test out so the bi polar meds i am off until i see him again. I do kind of question if i do have it or not. Because some of it i dont have. Might even be ADHD maybe im not exactly sure. Maybe i am miss diagnoise. Who knows he is the doctor so hopefully we find out what i have. I know its something i judt dont know.. I am very soft spoken. When im supposed to yell i don't lol.. But there is times where i want to be like Mean if i need or want something lol. I hardly ever get after the kids i just laugh at the stuff they do or say.. But i do try to talk to them about whats right and wrong.But thats pretty much all it and then that day my son used all his change to go eat a hamburger at burger king. lol it was such a cute thing he did. The money i was saving for some day a trip to Disney World went to Hamburgers lol.. Tomorrow i am taking them to Taco bell so my mom dont have to cook. But We had a good day and we laughed all day. I guess i must be going through manapouse cause i missed another month of a period. Its nice but at the same time you dont know if its going to come or not. Well i guess thats about it. But if u live close to New york. You better sent me the cold lol or if u are close to being cold or its cold sent it to TEXAS please lol..I really hope you like this new layout. I worked on yet another drawing. I just feel like i wanna be different then all the other layouts.. Hoping to keep this new layout for two or 3 weeks. Or when ever i decide to change it and for now i am happy with all of it. :) i do want to create something amazing i just haven't found that just yet.. Well leave me some love. Talk soon!