Muhhaha still here. :))
June 20 2022 - 9:27am
hey whats up? 2 days with tremors omg i need relief but i called the neology and they don't take my insurance so that really sucks. I'll have to look for someone who will take it. Some how i managed to put makeup on. idk how i did that with the shaking...
I need to talk about more of my past but its hard to get into some of those subjects because of what i went through as a child. I never really had a child hood because kids down the block showed me things and told me things when i was 7. Maybe another time will get into it. Just that now when i think about it, it makes me sick to my stomach because i could of just been a kid and i grew up to fast. Thats why it annoys people when i say im a kid at heart and never wanna grow up well its because i grew up to fast. How ever i tell my kids and they are like you are so immuture and i say well its sucks being an adult. I have to play two roles a mom and a dad. Being a mom is hard because they want stuff and i can never say no to them. So like a few days ago my son comes in mom i want a game for my xbox i said no at first and then 5 mins im like just charge it to my card lol. Went to get food for them yesterday they wanted panda express. Whatever they want i try and get it for them and there super spolied. I never wanna say no to them but its hard. They make me laugh and we always talk to each other and have a good time. I love My Kids. couldnt have it any other way. Im glad there the only two i have. Cause i don't think i could have anymore kids lol it would be to much for me. Anyways i wanna update backgrounds and or put more out there its just with the tremors are so bad i can't really design so it sucks. But well see i can only blog for the moment on. So i will talk to you all later! Have a blessed day!!
Two post in one week. what a record..
June 17, 2022 - 9:47am
its come to my attention that "Nine" has closed down her site. it wasn't my intations to get her offline I wanted her to take actions of how silly some of the stuff she was mad about. Think about what she said in the past if she did say it or not, we will never know. We have to take care of our mental health first and take care of ourselves first before we can have things. No one is perfect and we make tons of mistakes everday. I honestly wish her the best and i hope i didn't make her get offline. I don't want to ever do that to anyone. Say u did or you didn't and move on there was no proof she did say that or not. But the thought of it makes me sick to tell anyone. How ever "nine" was mad over silly stuff with people and that gets old it really does. We gotta take actions of what we say. I mean again no one is perfect and no one wakes up perfect either. Even in the heat of the moment we can say some stupid stuff and then regreat it. But again i wish her all the best and hope that her mental state is good and not bad because we don't want that for anyone i surely don't. I understand it all to well and if you got PTSD it never leaves you period. Anyways thats all i was going to say.
What i need to say is that we don't need to go to each other and put each other down for their actions. We arnt the boss in everything. Be nice and be kind to each other thats only the reason why im here.
I want to Protect friends and people online who just been abused. We hope the best for each other thats all we really can do..Again i never meant to hurt you in anyway. I just wanted the truth thats all and i hope you decide to come back because there is room for you too.. Godbless i pray for your mental health.Thats all im going to say for today. Talk soon!
Still here not going anywhere LOL
June 16 2022 - 7:25pm
I have to make jokes out of this because laughing is the best meds right now.
I been so stressed out with doctors apointments. I have to go see a neologist for my Tremous and the other day when i was in the doctors i picked up my leg and this was really scary but my leg felt like it was vibrating it was a really odd feeling so when i felt that my anxiety went up high because im like whats going on? So i must make an apointment for next week so i can get something going and see if they can give me something that will work. I ran out of medws for it, but it don't really work ofthen. Stress and heat seem to be a trigger and right now im cool but its really bad but im fighting back to type this blog. I just really feel dedpressed i thought i had it bad i belong to groups on FB for tremors so that i can better understand it. So thats been going on..
Food is missing out on shelves and you can't find certian things which is insane. I live in a little town, but we have about 4 or 5 countys come into our little town and shop at walmart so thats why there is alot of stuff missing. When i travel to different places i find it stocked up. But its about to get bad in some citys. The end of times are near by and we might not think so but its scary when you think about it.
I had to laugh about the post someone still has up about me. We think we know someone and really we don't know what they are really like. They might think there a boss and think they can take the site down but the jokes on them. Thank you mam for giving me more hits. :))
So i wanna go deep down to when i was 16 and talk about how i was stalked and knew the guy who stalked me. I think he was obbessed with me and it was scarey when he try to break inside my house, watch me from my window. My mother called the police and had a police come out there and talk to him. It didn't stop till i was 19. I moved about 3 times and someone like kids i grew up with told him where i lived and he showed up and my mom was like stay in the house don't come out. He wanted to rent a place cause his girlfriend was pregnant and my mom said hell no. She was 15 and he was 19. It's crazy how things happen. I use to be scrared of the dark for the longest time because of the stalking. Even though i knew the guy and went to school with him and went to the same church and knew his parents at 16 it ruined my teenage years. I could of enjoyed being a teenager. But there is scary people out there. But after so many years i looked him up on FB and found him he moved from where he was at to another part of Texas just now hes about 4 hours away and has about 5 kids from different people. Now im not scared how ever if he ever stepped in my yard i got dogs that bite and i got guns. So im not worried at all. But at 16 i was scared i mean i was just a kid. I had to tell my mom that he was in the window staring at me and she was pissed because he wouldn't stop. His parents would come drop him off and i watched him in the sliding door and he tried opening it. when i confronted him he lied and i told him to his face why were u trying to break in and he said oh i wasn't and i said i saw you and he didn't say anything i asked him to stop. But he wouldn't stop. It was a hard child hood. the only one that was home was me and one of my brothers. My mom was working and i had to go to work with her to stay away from the house. No telling what he would have tried to do or what he could have done. Someone even said a guy in glasses would show up at the apartments and knock on the door and i think we think it was him. people said he showed up everyday and knocked im just glad that someone told us what he looked like and i knew it was him cause why would he show up everyday. Good thing i wasn't there. But Thats something i went through as a teenager. The most scarey thing is you don't know what people are thinking of doing or what they plan to do. Always be aware of where you are and look around. Even people you know can stalk you and not even know it. so be careful who you are friends with. There is crazy people out there. That are either jelly of your life, or want to ruin you. Be careful with people online like the one that said they would take my site down. Still waiting!... Shes probably stalking me and see who i talk to which is kind of creepy if you ask me. Or stalking my website to make sure i don't talk about her, still creepy if you ask me. I barly even get on. I just honestly blog to be honest..
So anyways today was my dads last chemo which is amazing and its working so thats awesome. God is awesome and the power of prayers have helped so much.
I couldn't have asked for anything else right now. The best thing ever is that he is getting better. he's in remission which is amazing. he will get the bag removed which is awesome thats the next thing to do and now he wants he gets the bag off he wants to go back to work and where like no but i kinda understand how he doesn't want to be here thinking and wants to keep his mine busy. Hes a very strong man. Im just so happy that its over with. My son cried so much because of the cancer. I mean my dad's been around for the longest time around my kids so it would be odd if he wasn't around and my son is super close to him more then his own dad. There best friends and buddies. We sat there and just cried about the whole thing. He made me cry./ but so glad its over with. The kids just want to do somethng fun and go have fun. Well see what we do this weekend. we need to have fun and get out of this funk of anxiety and stressed.. Anyways i done talked your ears off.
Sadly im not GOING ANYWHERE. No one i mean no one is going to push me off the internet. Not even her. She thinks she can but she can't do nada. i'll kep talking because she could have emailed me but she don't want her email to come out which is why she hides. Oh well i get it..
Thanks for the prayers and thanks for reading gotta take this dog out one more time so talk soon!!
I'm Still Here..
8:41am - 6-11-22
Well i guess someone who threating to take my site down has lied LOL..I'm Still here..
Well dad's cancer is going good, he has one more treatment and he is finally done. Im so happy for him.
I been depressed for the past two weeks don't want to do anything but drown in the hole. The only thing i do is go outside and take the dog and come back inside. I Just feel like I really miss my friend who passed away at the end of may. So its been really hard lately to think about her. She was in her late 60s. lifes so short when you think about it you know. You don't know what tomorrow will be like, you don't know if you will wake up. So thank god everyday that you can see, hear, have legs to walk and just enjoy the day that the lord has blessed you with.
This is just going to be short. I got nothing else to say at the moment.