month is almost over..

april 23 2025

its been raining like crazy off and on today. its nice cause maybe it will cool off a bit instead of it being 90s like yesterday. it was so hott yesterday. couldnt stand it..We had to take my daughter to get her cavitives fixed and shes been in pain for a while now cause they did like 7 teeth..so its gonna be a while for her to heal.. my son didnt have No cavities so he is good.. but yea and then i got my new glasses today and i like them they are a different color and now u can see my makeup better. i just have to get use to them cause my old ones i was use to lol..But they are nice.. the stalker finally stopped stalking. i just don't think they could see anything more to stir the pot with..sometimes i put stuff in public just for laughs and jokes and it could be directly to her.. or just someone who is stalking my page and the only reason it shows up now is cause i found out that when someone looks up your name, u have no friends or family related and what happens is the person that looked you up will show up on people you may know and it will stay there until they stop searching your profile or looking at your profile cause now im just going through the people you may know everryday and i checked today and shes gone and doesnt show up anymore, i guess she was looking at my profile everyday and trying to find something to use to stir the pot with my ex. which is find i can protect myself but im also showing my kids that people do some crazy shit and will go through the trouble to start more trouble with you for no reason and shes trying to make everyone else hate me with them. if she only knew what kind of shit my ex and ex mother law have said about her, maybe she would stop acting like a fool.. Im glad i didnt tell her everything cause at first i was trying to just be her friend and talk about the only thing we have in common is our kids and our ex husbands drama. There was some stuff i kept in private and didnt really open up and i didnt really fully trust her, but i think she was trying to get me to trust her so she can throw it to the ex. again i dont know who really has time to do all that.. i wish i had 5 mins to do a fun video lol but inhave to help my mom walk in the rain, i have to take my dog outside, i have to go pick up kiddos at the bus stop, have to make sure everyone takes their meds and that they get to the store and make sure theynare using the right card. There is tons of things i have to do on a daily.. at night i have time but don't go anywhere cause i would rather stay with my kids and spend time with my parents.. oh and then i was looking up on chatgpt and asked it a few questions, one was why did i see a person disapear and the with in 5 mins their profile was coming back on and then the name would apear and then disapear. well finds out that person is deactivting there profile and then activating it every 5 mins or just keep doing it to through you off. Then i understood exactly what she was doing. like forreal who has time for that? anyways i took my parents to whataburger to have lunch and i was getting their order so i can make sure i got everything right and i went up to one girl and she kept looking at the other one and i dunno what they said to each other and i was gonna order but she kept staring at me..so i waited by then i was getting frustrated cause i needed to eat pretty quik and finally the lady next to her said can i help you and i go over there and was sweet and smiling and making an order and she just gave me the meanest look and i was like wow. by then i looked over to my mom amd i knew something was up.. my mom doesnt hold back and she will tell u to your face if your being rude like that. Where ever i am at and they talk to me rude she will be the first to tell u in your face.. she dont play.. especially if its me or her grandkids..i just laughed at the end of the day. its like no matter what people may say about me at the end of the day im happy, no one can steal my joy and im making jokes about it.. its normal when people just ya know are talking about you.. but what they don't know is im blessed.. This is how i teach my kids. holding grudges is not a good thing for anyone to be in that kind of mood. The thing is , is to be you laugh in their faces and make a joke out of it..Show them that the world doesnt revolve around just them and there is more things to laugh about then to be mad over things u cant change..life is 2 short to be mad.. after my son called his grandma the next weekend he was happy. he wanted to tell them about his teeth being cleaned and how nice they looked. but then the sad thimg neither of them called and when Easter showed up they didnt even call him on Easter. i get that what he said made ya'll mad because a 17 year old is more mature then those two and couldnt just swollow your pride and talk to him.. Its pretty sad that no matter what he was just excited sbout his shinny teeth and then got disapointed when they didnt call back.. it would have been nice to see them call and just be mature about it ya know..But I think just letting my kids know that no matter where they going in life is that no matter what i will always answer their phone call and if they need to talk i am always in the next room and that i will always be their for them no matter what. I wont judge and believe me i was a kid once. i been through some tough things in my life and with god has put me through has relized that life is tough but you are strong and if i got through it so can they..but life can be short too.. we laugh and make fun of each other but i made them that way so that they can understand that the world is cruel and there will be people out their that are jealous of you and try to make your life where unhate it..you can't just let people walk all over you, people also cant tell you what to do and if they do its ok to tell them to stop treating you that way..its ok to say what you feel even if it hurts their feelings.. they have to learn to accept that and if they can't then their is somethimg wrong within themselves..and then make a joke out of it and move on.. cause ya know Jesus has said before that he wished we where like little kids cause one day your mad at each other and the next your bestfriends again..lol thats the way it should be..thats why its always good to just laugh and make a joke out it, to show them that they dont matter to you.. life goes on..with or with out you.. anyways im gonna get going but i will try to blog again soon.. ttyl

It's Almost Easter..

April 16th 2025

Tomorrow My daugher has to go to the Dentist. I don't think it will be all day lol. They seem to be pretty Quick. Last week they Got their teeth clean and have been staying on top of that and there teeth looks super clean and nice. I had kept putting this new layout up for the last couple of months. But drew it like 2 to 3 weeks ago because bascally was just tired lol or didnt want to do it really. I wasnt sure if i wanted to put the layout up.. I was just taking my time and everytime i wanted to put it up i wasnt feeling it. Or it wasnt me. Idk. Anyways This new time I really hate cause I feel like im in a rush to do everything.. When i did the layout Everytime i thought about it, It go to sleep early. I would say i will do it another time.. Oh well. I just been pretty swapped this week. We had got a new puppy but we just not home to take care of him and he was such a little good boy. But he went back to his home and They found a home for him.. Poor babes. Anyways Everythings been pretty good. The exciting thing happen today was we saw a snake at the bus stop and A man got out quick and Threw his butcher knife at it a couple of times but it got killed. It was crazy thing today.. I been Doing some Spring cleaning and havent slept in a week and now i got my sleep back so now i feel normal lol..I been doing a couple of tiktoks everyday just for fun. Its help for the days when I have Anxiety and not thinking about it. The dogs are barking like crazy tonight. So don't know if someone is walking the streets or maybe its animals i am not sure whats going on there. But i hope tey know someone is awake in this house lol. Anyways its been pretty quiet with the drama. I am not sure how many times the stalker has been to my page but everyday her name pops up and its just so odd that we have no one in common and some how has been looking around my page.. Its Private for a reason. But Stalking is scarey and It can become a real thing. Makes people pretty sick.. But i think honestly its just something to do with reveage or something. or something so my ex can find away to yell at me lol.. I feel like a big kid getting in trouble for things i have posted lol.. Anyways its just crazy.. I am gonna get going im getting tired so i will talk to you all later and plase leave me some love on this new layout.. And i will blog soon.. goodnight..

whats up?

APRIL 12 2025

HEY WHATS UP? how is everyone doing tonight? or where ever you are when you are reading this..its been a crazy 2 weeks. they gave me sleepyimg pills cause i wasnt sleepying for 2 weeks i was 2 busy on a cleaning mission. i cleaned everything, i started in my room and then i went to the bathroom, i cleaned the living room and then i went to cleaned my moms bathroom lol..I just couldnt sleep cause i was cleaning everything lol..i finally got sleep and then couldnt wake up lol.. dropping off the kiddos at the bus. id fall a sleep in the car lol..I really enjoy the weekend lol..well i was scrolling on facebook and i notice a name popped up on my who you may know and i notice it was my 1st ex husband 2nd ex wife shes been stalking me. I don't know what her deal is. i mean like i told my son. i dont hate her i just didnt like what she said and i was actually her friend but she wasnt mine she was just trying to find out information so she could report it back to my ex husband..There was some stuff i kept to myself cause for a moment she wasnt to be trusted. in fact when i think about it. i couldnt tell my ex anything cause he would turn around snd throw it in my face and thats exactly what she was doing.. I dont know if this is some kind of Revege to get me back or what cause i ruined her vacation..At this point i dont want to deal with her, i didnt have my son with her. My daughter said why was she stalking me and i said i dont know and she goes. is she Jealous of you and then we laughed.. She might be 18 but shes pretty smart how childish this is..or how its going back and forth..I gave them both my phone so they can read the messages they sent me..Im pretty sure they where not happy when my son called.. We are not mad at them. its just i reacted to what they where saying and when i open my month they judge me when they dont know me. she said and he said is getting on my nerves.. so yesterday my son came to bug me lol and he said im just wondering did my dad ever text you? I told him i unblocked him about 2 weeks ago and i havent got a text and if he did text it would have came through and he said ok. hes keeping tabs on his dad now..The lies are going to come out soon cause hes probably going to ask him questions.. im trying not be the bad guy cause i do want him to have a relationship with his dad and i am all for Family. so his dad is gonna have to learn to change..Its hard when your kid starts seeing the patterns when they get older. we talk about anything and i always remember the fun times with his dad so i always tell him stories about his dad and never bad.. I told him no matter what he is your dad. but he does have a fuse and my son saw that a couple of times..Kids find out.. like growing up my grandma on my mom side had a husband and growing up we called him grandpa cause it was like a repectful thing to say. so when i got older i realize he wasn't even related to us and he wasnt even my grandpa and i started calling him by his name..no matter what my mom kept people like that to her self cause eventally as we got older we would find out what they were like and we could defend ourselves. in my younger years i was pretty shy i didnt speak my mind at all. since i was nice people would walk all over me.. now that im speak up people dont like it and when I tell the truth. people twist my words and say something else and then they talk in the future and im like we are not even there yet lol. by then im confused. maybe i should just lie lol. its just not me to lie. i stay open with my family and my kids..Like everything i been through growing up i can say one thing is that i raised my kids right..i have proof of how Awesome they are and everyone who is close to us well say how respectful my kids are and that says alot.. My kids speak there mind, and will probably roast you lol..I love my kids and i am a proud mama.. talk soon..

not that great of a week.

March 28 2025

where do i begin? well i got into it with my ex mother in law and was explaining that there was no way i could meet them in June, Because due to money and not having money to take him about 3 hours away. I guess they didnt really understand what i was trying to say and when i try to be open and honest about what was going on they took it to another level. I never said that my son couldnt see his dad. The one time i said no i wasnt going to meet his ex wife they all attacked me. His ex wife got on instagram and started bringing up the past i was trying to explain to her that it wasnt that. and she went on to say that i should rethink it and by then i was like i didnt have a child with her. I guess my ex baby daddy must have been telling her what was going on between me and him. He must of told her all of it cause some mean stuff was said by her.I think she was mad to cause she was looking forward to going to california and i messed that up. But honestly i dont want her to come pick up my son if shes rude. i would rather have his dad come pick him up. not that its any better but atleast i know its his dad and not her.. I dont know what was her place in telling me shit. Like you do for your girls and i keep doing for mine. I live my life how i want as a mother. my kids are spolied and i would do anything for them both. while this was going on my son read everything that was writtin to me and by then he was pretty pissed off about it, he said he was going to call his grandma in california and at first i said no because i dont want them thinking it was me tellimg him what to do. so then my mom came over and said let him, he is 17 and consider an adult and i asked him to calm down and think about what he is going to say, i said they can no longer contact me about it so say whatever. So he went to his room and he called her like 3 times until she finally answered. There was some stuff i was shocked he said. he said I think you protect my dad and you take his side alot. he said my dad is a ticking bomb. I dont know what else he said but he asked them to all stop attacking me, i said i know im not perfect i make mistakes and to protect myself i attack back and some stuff i dont mean it, which is why sometimes i just walk away or dont reply back but its hard. But i told him that i wasnt mad at his grandma and his dad. all is forgiving and i keep moving forward because thats just who i am. I said but if you want to still go you can, im not trying to keep you. you got a phone and i know if anything you will text me and i know i will be ok.. I think his grandma always thinks we talk bad about his dad to him but we never have and i have always encourge him to see his dad even when he didnt want to. No matter what i said he is your dad and i have never kept you away from him. but since they all made me mad i didnt want you to go at that moment.. I started crying i was very emotional cause things i told them where sent to his ex wife and that wasnt right. they all talk shit about her to but its not my place to say that.. I mean i wouldnt repeat anything back. its up to her. but what she said wasnt right either. but all is good as long as i dont have to deal with her. i thought we got along because we both dated the same guy but turns out shes still a bitch. you live and ypu learn. i had a feeling that everything i was saying she must have went back and told him, which some stuff i kept private. Im glad i caught that pretty fast. after everything i said she took screen shots and im pretty sure they where sent to my ex. but i just hope she sent what she said to because shes held accountable about what she was saying and how rude she got with me that had nothing to do with her..But keep playing cause at the end of the day your gonna hate what i do next.. She talked shit about my son, and i found out some other shit. so if she wants to keep going through that route pay backs a bitch.. remember i am computer savvy .. Hommie dont play.. If i could hack into my ex's emails i could hack hers. so she better watch out lol..i am someone you just dont want to mess with.. some things i let go and somethings i don't. it all depends how i am feeling and just imagine all the informatiom you can find out online these days.. the only reason why i say that is cause my mom was looking for family online and im] was able to find them with in 2 to 3 days..sometimes it could take all day..but i get tired and go to sleep lol.. The only reason why im up is cause im washing clothes.. anyways all is good now. me and my son where cracking jokes today and i made him laugh until his tears came out and he couldnt breath because all the jokes i was coming up with lmao and my mom she had the most laughs. i forgot what happen but she was rolling and laughing and i said that was one heck of a belly laugh..lmao.. it was a good day and my dad came in the room and was like what happen and we told him some and he started laughing.. it was a good day.. So next week spring break starts. somwe will see what we will be doing. but im gonna go ahead and get some rest morning comes to fast and have to wake up at 5am to take kids to school. thank god tomorrow is friday.. i will draw something this weekend for the site.. well see what i come up with.. hope everyone is doing well.. oh before i go my dad has no cancer he is remission but the cancer is more likely a door matt. its a sleep. so hopefully it doesnt return.. well talk soon.. have a great night..

I now have Hypoglycemia

March 10 2025

well spring break will start closer to the end of march. oh boy going to figure out what to do on that day..well the nurse called me and told me i had Hypoglycemia. last year i was looking up things i was feeling and it told me that a person could have diabeties and Hypolycemia at the same time. well you know how my tremors where getting bad and i notice that if i was under some stress or not eating they where getting really bad and i tend to fall from it. The meds were making me super sick cause they had me on a high dose and i kept asking if they could give me something else or lower the dose because i couldnt figure out why it was making me super sick. the last doctor said that to try one and that it was a good idea to just take it.. i couldnt just stay there and sleep all day because i was sick. i wasnt seeing anyone because of just being sick. i needed to be able to get up and do stuff..anyways 2 weeks ago i drank a rootbear and it slowed down my tremors. i was like wow thats never happen before. i was kind of confused and i had brain fog like i would say something and then they would ask me something snd i would say what like i didnt say that and they would say u just said that lol.. i know its not funny but like i cant remember what i said. its crazy and they laughed like i was playing but seriouesly i couldnt remember but it really didnt dawn on me. the mornings i dont want to eat cause im simply not hungry around that time so maybe like around 10am i try to eat something. but i never want eggs. honestly dont know what i want but i know i want something quick and i dont have to cook .. so i think maybe i am going to try and make a smoothies in the morning or something well see. but i know most of the time i dont eat on time like i should so i dont get the shakes. so if i take my pills then the diabeties goes low and when it goes low i have to eat a pc of candy or something to get it on balance and thats going to be super hard for me to do and its probably going to be a hard to deal with.. so i need to be able to carry peanuts, a snack with me when im out just incase my tremors are bad and i need to eat something.. I had a feeling i had this but i couldnt comfirm it cause i mean walking into a doctors office and be like i think inhave this and they probably look at me like are u the doctor lol.. every year they have to check my blood and i guess they found that out she said i needed to eat more veggies but my moms cousion has this and she said eat alot of protein..But its kind of scary though cause if it gets low it can be dangerous. so i have to make sure i eat on time and eat probably snacks in between to keep it at balance. my diabetes was good though it was a 6.3. but i gotta start taking care of myself, sometimes im not a morning person. i dunno what to eat tomorrow in the morning.. maybe toast with some avacado. honestly i just want something quick and easy lol. i guess im going to have to go this weekend and get some stuff to carry on hand with me. i guess i am gonna have to change purses to back pack. sometimes i dont even want to carry anything at all.. but gotta do it. itll be better for me to eat something and always keep something with me regardless..I guess i cant heal this one..as long as i can keep eating my pickles lol. i'll have to explain to the kids about that one.. they will have to act fast to get me a coke or something.. i remember when i was in school i knew a teacher who would run out of the class and at first i was young so i didnt know what was going on but she had to get a coke cause she had hypoglycemia and she needed sugar but back then i didnt know about that so i had wondered why she ran out the door..i was so confused and lost.. i just hoped she was ok.. but i'll keep yall updated.. i just need to be able to get on track with this and feel better ya know.. but hopefully if i can i'll draw a new layout. or try to anyways. i need some ideas lol.. talk soon! goodnight..

been soo sick off and on.

march 3 2025

its been almost a week and i just been super sick with ibs and other things related with diabeties and starting a new meds. they finally lowered the dose but its been making me sick every morning, so trying to find a balance that works with me. like when i get up is dont wait to long and to eat right away when i can. So i dont think im gonna make any layout for March i thought about making a st pattys layout and i drew one but i just cant feel better enough to set it up. so i am going to keep this one until i get super tired of it lol..I can't catch a break to feel better and if its one thing its another and im exhausted and so depressed because i cant get comfortable to feel better..if anyone knows me they know i hate it with a passion of being sick.. so every afternoon i have to have a heating pad for my stomach cause pain feels like having another baby.. Just pray for me..once i get better i'll add a new layout and move stuff around again. for now this is all your gonna see for march.. i hope everyone is doing good.. once i am fully better i will blog again.. talk soon! have ya heard Selena Gomez new song?

its been a while..

feb 26 2025

last week my dad was out running in the streets trying to get the chickens inside the gate and he ended up falling on his face and he said he would go to the hospital after they came and brought the washer snd dryer and he was in pain. i told him he can not go outside by himself cause of this. its not safe for him to be out there on his own incase anything where to happen. to eother take one of the kids out there with him.. i felt so bad for not being out there when they needed me. when the people came to put in the washer and dryer well he ended up not going to the hospital. i dont kmow why he is so hard headed.. but he went to his thereapy the next day and the bump he got on his face needed stitches.. it was a crazy week. hes ok now but he has some pain here and there..i hate to see them this way ya know.. getting older andntrying to be their for them both as much as possiable.. well i dont know but i been sick off and on.. ibs is back but ten times worse. its hard to decide what to eat now.. cause everything hurts my stomach. havent felt that great lately.. anyways i wanna work on drawing a new layout. but just havent felt great..
talk soon..

we got two weeks left..

feb 16 2025 4:37pm

I can't believe that we got only two weeks for Febuary. Crazy how this month is so short..Last night i drew a st pattys layout but iam not exactly sure if i like it or not.. may use it i dunno yet for sure..well see if i do decide to put it up i will set it up tomorrow in the afternoon. but anyways dads been going to thereapy every Monday and Thursday and its just a hassal for me to wake up super early and at that place the seats are not that comfortable to sit there an hour.. they need coushion. i dunno i go for supprort and to sit with my mom so she don't feel nervious..they were talking about how my aunt gave up her life so fast and we all think she could have fought and lived longer. i am sure she thought that if she lived who was going to take care of her but im sure her kids would have watched and took good care of her more then she would know.. my cousin told my mom that her brother dreamed of my aunt being alive and i thought it was werid cause after someone has passed away i have never dreamed of anyone being alive in my dream and me and my mom don't believe in any of that.. I belive that god gives us messages but everyone have dreamed of always has been dead in my dream. its pretty sad that she had a chance to live and she choose not to..they all divided her ashes to her grand kids and the pastor told them they wherent supposed to do that..we where thinking how do you know if you have her, might have a toe, or a leg and arm maybe.. i mean it makes you think.. anyways it was pretty hot the last 2 days from 70s and 80s and then the next day my mom told me to turn off the ac cause it was already cold outside again. back to 20 and 30s and im like i just dont know what to wear anymore. i wanna buy some boots and skinny jeans to be comfortable but umm i dunno if i should get some and how long its going to be cold.. i know all next week its gonna be cold anyways.. kids where off last week for winter break. Monday they return it was a nice break but now back to waking up again.. lol its funny but the dog has been sitting at the end of the bed and just staring at me lol..so funny. i changed phones from iphone 15pm to galaxy s24u and im pretty happy. there is tons and tons of themes to make your phone super cute and i love how you can apply the theme and it just does everything for you in a couple of secounds lol..I'll always have a soft spot for apple but it was time for a chnge. honestly i was getting bored with apple.. but they do got my heart. if i ever get tired of samsung s24u i'll go back. for now i am happy eith the phone..anyways i just wanted to come on here and update.. sorry cpanel was down over the weekend.. its back up and running.. well talk to you guys later...

Today was a better day..

Feb 7 2025

Called to the doctors so i can go get in and get a check up and then i need refills for my meds. Hopefully they can change my diabeties meds cause they are making me sick again. I can't keep going on feeling that way..So cross fingers they give me something else.. So i watched that new movie on Netflix its called. Kinda Pregnant lol It was so funny i couldn't stop laughing. Now I am Watching "Cassandra" its good so far. But i'll probably see it till i finish it tonight. Not much is going on the fact that Texas weather is being super hot this week is crazy.. Its been in the 70s and 80s. I am not cut out for this heat.. Tremors tend to be really bad when its hot so i need to stay in the ac as much as possible. I been trying to take my meds on time so that it does work on how i feel with it. I dont wish anyone to have this its horriable. Feels like your whole body just vibrates on its own. Like u can't control it. I hate it. But i dunno maybe its something that runs in the family. My mom was telling me that she thinks my aunt might of had it. When it is really bad i tend to fall. Couple of times i just end up hurting myself. Anyways It's been a crazy week with the drama that started at the bus stop the other day. I don't know why people have to lie on what happen. It just crazy Just be honest gesh.. Anyways im gonna get going? can't believe next week is Valentines day.. Rach reminded me that and i was like whaa lol.. Ugh i dont want to know haha.. jk.. Hope you all are doing ok out there and that your days are going great.. talk soon!

My Aunt Died January 28th 2025/ My sons birthday today.

Feb 5 2025

Well my Aunt Died January 28 2025. It seemed to be a fast call. We got the call at 12 midnight when my cousin called my mom and told her that my aunt had died. It makes me sad that she gave up to fast. I understand she thought about who was going to really take her care of her. I mean my Cousin works and her son works so it would have been hard for anyone to take care of her and Just thinking if she died in the house. How do you clean that mess up after everything comes out of them. But we all think she could have fought that and Keep going but she gave up and said it was just way to hard for her to deal with. Maybe it was a sad excuse so just go back to Heaven. Ofcourse there was alot of drama going on with the family and money wise. I guess my cousin made a go fund me page.I don't really know what really happen. But i guess it created some Drama. Who knows. But I hope that everyone just got to say goodbye and Even though i didnt get that chance to say good bye, I was able to talk to her when she told me happy birthday and i told her i loved her. I guess some way that was my goodbye. Even though Those times are the worst when you feel like you can't just go see her. We didnt even go to the Funreal. I think my mom doesn't really believe in going, How ever She saw her when she was alive and they laughed. So she was happy to see her then. They decided to Cremate her after all and all the little grand children got a little pc of necklace and i dont know what else they got. But It was something to but her ashes in. My mom doesnt believe in that either. So shes like how do you know if you got her, or a toe or a the butt part lol. I mean when you really think about it. What body part do you have..It makes sense.. Is it achually her ashes or someone else. I mean it makes you really think about that one. But shes no longer with us anymore. Its just sad that she didn't want to fight ya know. My dad is 77 Tomorrow and no matter what he has fought through this cancer and thank god he is still standing. Let alone his heart was working 20% and some how God Saved his life. God is Awesome.

Today is my sons 17th Birthday. He is bugging me to go pick up his card at the mail, but i told him wait till tomorrow cause his uncle came over. We all sang Happy Birthday and Now he just wants games lol.. Im like boy you need clothes lol. Thats Kids for you. They would rather have money and games then what they really need. Im gonna work on the new layout tonight. I was hoping no distractions but ugh. Guess I will be in and out coding this new layout. But i just wanted to update yall on whats really going on.. I have to wash clothes , call the doctor and i have to dye my daughters hair so i will be busy these coming days so i want to get this new layout up.. but i hope everyone is doing good.. Tomorrow is Dad's Birthday. He says hes gonna be 14 lol.. I said yur gonna be 77 or 78 lol.. he don't know i dont think. My brother said i think hes gonna be 82 lol.. anyways talk to you later. Gotta go code and work.. Hope it dont take long.. ttyl

not doing great

january 26 2025

well where do i begin? my aunt has been in the hospital for a month and shes gave up treatments and wants to go home already. i know my moms not doing ok cause that is her sister. they are not close but my mom still cares and it still hurts no matter what. She had fluids around her heart and her kidneys where not doing that great. my aunt didnt really take care of her self and she is where shes at now.. my aunt always held on to grudges and i never really understood that. cause ive always learned that letting go was a sign of relief and to always leave that up to god. no one is perfect we all make mistakes and some of us keep making mistakes no matter what. we all are learning to live and move on.. but as the days passed and my aunt is still breathing.i guess well see when shes ready to go. it sucks. they gave her morphine so she can be comfortable. they asked my mom if she wanted to go to the hospital and she said no. all her grandkids and kids are their. i dont think i would bring my little kids to see her leave this world. even though my kids understand i still wouldnt let them see that. its not a place to bring them. i mean you can explain to them why they dont wont see that person and explain to them what heaven is like. she told me happy birthday on the 5th and that she loved me and i told her that i loved her to. but i didnt get to see her in the hospital. cause its like 2 hours from me but my mom and dad got see her one last time..its just such a sad month and crazy cause my cousin died on january 5th and now my aunt might die in this month.. i started thinking of my friend who i dated when i was 20. i had wished that he lived a little longer so i could hear his voice one last time, or talk to him again.. he always found a way to make me laugh and that i mattered to him. life is so short you know. you just never know when your time comes. on another note my dad might need surgery again. they said that they think maybe the cancer is back but we dont know for sure. God i hope not cause thats alot of stress on my mom to pile up on her. just helping her the best i can no matter what.. spending as much time as possiable. which is why i have put off dating longer to be expected. i want to date but at the same time i dont want to leave the house and be away from my parents cause they might need me ya know. I do feel lonely and just want to live a happy life. but then i start thinking like why do i have to explain to someome why i took a 2 hour nap lol.. i dont know.. maybe someone to talk to would help.. ahh i plan to do another layout for valentines day. but i fell off the stairs 2 weeks ago. i guess i needed to fall for this year and well i end up hurting my leg and my right hand when i try to streach it, well it hurts pretty bad. even though i didnt fall on that hand i guess i must have pulled something like trying to hold on or something.. i should be resting it but i blogged today and yesterday i drew princess diana on rachs website..lol.. skiping the fact it should be restingno matter what.. anyways i hope everyone else is doing good.. please pray for my family.. thank you. talk soon..

Happy New Year 2025

January 4 2025

Well its about 1am here and i finally coded something new. This Layout is Way different then what i normally do but i was getting tired of the preppy look. Some layouts i my go back to the preppy but for now i think i am just going to take my time to draw them out and see how i want everything to lay out ya know. Just trying to be different this year. So how was everyones holiday? Mine eh not that great to be honest. Kids got what they wanted. I just got my son some games and some outside food. My daughter got a computer she has been wanting. I really wanted to get a new phone for my birthday but it didn't work out that way. Oh well. May be at the end of this month. So i been cleaning none stop and have been getting rid of tons of stuff. I just want to donate everything cause its getting on y nerves to see things. Trying to till the kids to start on their rooms nd get rid of clothes that they no longer use anymore. Someone else probably needs them. or is looking for new clothes. Well i hope you like this new layout. I worked really hard on this one and i also changed Love Acid well the puppies are getting bigger. They are 4 weeks old and they are playing and they are just so cute. No teeth though. I cleaned out their little cage and threw away some more stuff. ugh i am exhaused lol. I have been doing alot of stuff today.. well i guess thats all for today. talk to you all soon. My Birthday is Sunday!

Christmas is in a couple of days.. crazy

Dec 22 2024

I was just relizing that My best friend that died in 2019 has been gone 4 years. Crazy and then it brought back memories when me and my mom was talking about it. Seeing my dad age and Forgetting is so heartbreaking and not being able to remember things from one day to another. He is seeking Thereapy. I know it won't cure it it but i hope that it helps ya know. So Seeing my dad is such a bad mood is crazy to see him act that way towards my mom. My Kids see it to and i tell them that he is getting older so he is becoming for grouchy ole man and they understand that.. He got the Christmas tree down from the Attic and My son helped but he ended up falling so we rushed to see if he was ok. Between me and my brother and my mom and my son checked up on him and sat with him so we could see if he was ok. So scary. He don't want to ask for help with nothing he has always been a strong person and has done everything for us.. It's just things like that. He also needs to have surgery asap cause you know the tubs that you use a restroom well its need to repaied but he is scared they will put him on a bag and we are like if u go and have it done sooner that wont even happen. But the VA is taking their sweet time about it. Hopefully after Christmas They will have something set up asap. He needed to be there like last week. I hate the doctors at the VA cause they take there sweet time about it.. My mom made hot chocolate tonight and earlier today we went to pass out cookies and hot chocolate and stockins to the kids and my son went and helped. Im not in the mood for any of it and i didn't really feel that great. Im just not that excited for Christmas this year. My son got a gift from his grandma in califorina and She told him what it was and well that just ruined everything for me and him. He said he asked her why she said anything and she never said anything. We where just telling him maybe she was excited so she told him lol.. I thought she would have sent my daughter something and well she never did. Its fine if she don't I mean for soo many years shes pretty much have gave her something, money and whatever else she wants So i am very gre8tful for that. Knowing that Its not her Grand child she always included her no matter what.. Well its been a crazy month. I didnt really want to change the Layout because this year i wasn't feeling the holidays. For me it came to fast and I just really didn't have any money to get what the kids wanted. They did ask for food lol; 2 funny.. But i was able to get something they can open on Chritmas. I got them all including my nephew a Giant Kit kat lol.. So i know they will like that.. I got them cookies and My son wanted to Go christmas shopping for everyone and get them two gifts lol. So that week i was broke.. I was trying to save up for My daughters Laptop and im getting a gift for me which is a new cell phone for me for christmas/birthday since its so close. Anyways im gonna end this. Just Im not gone just dealing with alot of stuff at the moment. Talk soon. Hope you all have a awesome Christmas.talk soon!

Can't believe its December

Dec 5 2024

Can't believe we have a month to go before new years.. That is crazy i think this year went pretty fast and for me to catch up im not ready. Honestly not that excited for Christmas this year. Im struggling. I do what i can for the kids but every year as they get older they ask for new things and they are expensive. Trying to save money cause these year they are both asking for the Steam Deck. My son already got his and now i just have to get my daughters. Its just so expensive now like nothing is cheap anymore. Every where its just way to much for the things they want. They understand which is cool but they are kids so they always think i am rich lol. And at that age who really thinks about money lol you just seen things you really want. I know i was there alot of time growing up. I wanted computers, laptops and I remember one year i wanted a nano Those where in back then even my ex got me one for Christmas one year and i had that thing saved with music afther about 5 years later he asked if he could have it so he could use it to work out and I was like go ahead and take it I wasn't using it anymore. So He ended up taking it and using it. Probably doesnt even have it anymore lol. I as like all my music and pictures where stored on that thing. I gave it to him with all of that on it lol.. But yea and then i think he bought me a phone and ipad I think i can't remember He pretty much spoiled me but Like i was telling my friend that he is a good provider but the only thing that was wrong with him was that he was Verbal abusive. Wish things could have been better but those are things i remember. Like the other day one of the dogs threw up and i asked my son if he saw anything and he said no. Well i ended up finding out it was in the hallway i was gaggy lol and my son came out and he said Where is it at. Im like its there and i said im not gonna pick it up cause my stomach turned and i just don't have the stomach to pick it up. So he said i'll be right back. Well he Picked it up with no problem LOL and it made me laugh cause his dad would do the same thing when i said i couldnt do it, he never complained he would just go pick it up. I got a mini him now. He acts like him but he is more like me in other ways. He raised my Daughter and thats not her dad but She picked up on things that he does like, Share foood and eats pizza with ranch and thats how he use to eat his pizza lol..Probably still eats it like that to.. But Just Memories like that have stuck with me afther about 10 years i think its been maybe longer. I stop counting lol. Yesterday was super cold and My dad had a ct and a MRI scan yesterday. I thought it was going to take forever but it was pretty quick we where out of there an hour. Me and my mom got talking about that Series "From" and What we think might be happening. Ive heard some Thoreys and they make sense. I told her we have to wait till 2026 to watch season 4. Im like i don't know why they are making us wait that long.. By then we might crack the code lol.. If you havent seen it. You MUST see it. They say its the most scareest show but its not scary. Its good so many puzzles though.. If you ever seen "lost" thats another one i think im gonna try and re watch that one. Anyways the chickes have been making eggs almost eceryday so free eggs is good and ofcourse fresh eggs are the best.. Anyways I am going to add some facebook covers while i am done bloggin. Talk soon!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all from all of us.

November 28th 2024

Its been a long week. It started off my dad being sick and then He kept seeing blue and we are not sure why but his eyes where all good they are just not sure why he sees blue sometimes. So Going back to the doctors and getting stuff done. All next week My dad has apointments all over again. Hes gotta check for his monthly testing. I am more then sure everything is ok. But he has to be chcked regardless.. So I moved on from desiging phone wallpapers and i been working on facebook covers and i drew about 50 of them. I will try and upload those Maybe tomorrow or Friday. Well see though. I am also Going to go over what Sub domains i want to keep. I like them all but i want to get rid of some.. Having to do like 10 layouts is insane lol.. Maybe i'll combine them all. Well see anyways My mom didnt want to cook thanksgiving so we are all going to go eat at a buffet with the family.. Well just my brothers and i and my mom and dad. But i hope you all have a save thanksgiving. talk soon!

Wow Thanksgiving is next week..

November 20th 2024

I can't belive that this month went pretty fast.. My daughter already asking when do i get paid lol she wants to try a new place out. They have pizza there so we might try that out at the end of this month anyways. My dad felt Dizzy and started throwing up so we watched him and made sure he was ok. It wasnt looking to good for him and my mom said this morning she thought she was gonna have to call 911. Hes not really eating that great cause he has no teeth so its very hard for him to eat food. So The VA sent him those insure so he can have something in his stomach. He just might have to go back to eating soups and i was thinking the other day that he might have to eat baby food. Just so he is able to eat something. My son asked if he was going to fix the sink so he did that yesterday and my son helped him do that but got worried about it. Hes ok we just have to make sure one of us is near by incase he falls or can't get up. He started to use his walker and he is very stuburn about using it. He doesnt think he needs it but he does. We are all getting older so we need the help to get on by. He is gonna get those handicapped tags and everyone seems to be excited to use that lol.. So i think my dads gonna get on his truck and then on my brothers incase they go somewhere he has one.. But everyone wants to park in the front lol.. I hate to see them getting older but i am also glad that i am around to watch them get to stores and ect. Making sure they put their card up and don't forget. I have a habit on asking whered u put the card at.. Anyways I felt sick yesterday like all of sudden i couldnt move I dunno if its cause the day before yesterday we made califorina rolls and its really not filling when u eat those you have to eat like 20 or so just to really get full on it. I think my brain was like well u didnt eat so u need to eat to feel ok. I eat later in the day and then seemed to be ok so i guess it was that..Then today my mom said she felt sick so i told her to get some ginger ala its good for burping and that seem to help her little but she was feeling it this a while ago before bed. I told her we need to get candy to suck on when we feel that way. Atleast for nauses. I found some amazon so i will buy some when i have money to have tha ton hand for them both.. I wish the doctor priscribed me something for that cause no matter what day i tend to have that issue and its so uncomfortable. I guess when i am gonna do is probably buy some chewable so that i can always have on hand for that. Days are going by Pretty fast. I can't beleive that we have 35 days before Christmas and im not looking forward to Christmas this year. The kids hit me with they wanted a new cansole and im like oh boy. She wants one and he wants one $700 all together.. Why does things cost so much? Im like if i get u that you will have only one gift and thats it. Well see ..If his dad buys him one and then i can buy her one and everyone is happy.. Anyways I decided to put up 35 wallpapers. I like making them but im wondering if they should have their own page hmm.Well see if not i'll just leave them here. Well thats all im gonna talk about. Hope yall is well and take cre ;)

Saturday...

Nov 16 2024

I first Orgnized the links to the wall papers, I added more Phone wallpapers for you guys. Working on more But for now i was able to add 2 more pages on the Quotes so there is more colorful ones. Gonna try to add as much as i can every week.. So far they all look good. When you click on them they will be bigger. Well today was another busy day. Had to fill our jugs of water to last us. We need our water :).. Helping my mom decided what else we should make to sell. Dads Losing his memory which sucks but he is going to see someone but it won't cure it but it'll help him. Its just so sad to see him that way. I look at old pictures and it just makes me sad of how much he has come and what he has been through. He has always been a very strong man. Im just Glad no matter what he is here. Thats all that counts and i am here to help as much as i can. Everything is something new. We have to go into town again and Get dog food. We are almost out. But yea my mom made chili today and we eat it all lol it was good. It was cold the other two nights and then now its like in the 70s but since the house sits up high its a little cooler up here. Ofcourse i got my Window and my Fan on lol couldn't sleep with out it. I started to put my dog back in the cage..i hate doing that but in the last two weeks ago shes been digging in the trash and i stop giving her human food cause she got sick and well ended up using the restroom in the room. She wasn't doing any of that stuff. I take her out 3 times a day and sometimes 4 and she used the restroom in the hallway. I don't think she really learned. But she had been doing really good and now shes acting bad. I dunno if its cause i stopped giving her human food or what. Then when i did that i started giving her dog food cause i want her to be able to eat that. She waited a whole week and i got so worried about her. Now shes back to eating it. But once she starts acting good again. I'll let her sleep with me at night. I know its Probably pretty cold at night when it starts to get colder. I don't leave her all day. It just for the night and then she still hanging out with me during the day. She needs to be able to come out and drink water and play with the other dogs and I think shes food ddicted lol atleast to human food anyways.. Well the Doc picked up my anxieyy meds higer. I was having two attacks last week it was right after another. I was like i can't handle this feeling. I don't wish anything on anyone. Mine is Horriable I mean even if i get it to where i start to feel a little better with out even thinking it just appears. I try to go hang out with my mom and talk to her So that feeling can go away but its just so bad that even that dont help and a while ago i started to feel it again and im like oh no please don't start i can't handle the feeling. I started to work on the wallpapers I wanted them lined up in away where they showed up smaller and then when you click it would show the bigger size. I figured that out and then tested it and Then fixed all the other pages. That seem to help some atleast for now ya know. Amyways im gonna go ahead and get off. I am going to eat my ice cream and watch a movie. Let me know if you like the phone wallpapers. I need some feedback.. Alright hav a good weekend :)

Well November is here..

November 7 2024

Wow November got here pretty fast. Crazy huh. Some of the weather the other day was pretty cool outside so i left my window open and my fan on and went to sleep early but then like today it ended up being super hot and im like where is this cold. But that is Texas for you. So its like you can't decide which clothes to keep out and which ones to leave out lol.. Ugh . Well its been a pretty good week. I went to go see my Mental health doctor. I had to see someone different cause the lady i was seeing i guess she don't work there anymore and that pretty much sucks. So this one is a guy and he seemed to be really nice. He asked if i really have bi polar so That was something he wanted to test out so the bi polar meds i am off until i see him again. I do kind of question if i do have it or not. Because some of it i dont have. Might even be ADHD maybe im not exactly sure. Maybe i am miss diagnoise. Who knows he is the doctor so hopefully we find out what i have. I know its something i judt dont know.. I am very soft spoken. When im supposed to yell i don't lol.. But there is times where i want to be like Mean if i need or want something lol. I hardly ever get after the kids i just laugh at the stuff they do or say.. But i do try to talk to them about whats right and wrong.But thats pretty much all it and then that day my son used all his change to go eat a hamburger at burger king. lol it was such a cute thing he did. The money i was saving for some day a trip to Disney World went to Hamburgers lol.. Tomorrow i am taking them to Taco bell so my mom dont have to cook. But We had a good day and we laughed all day. I guess i must be going through manapouse cause i missed another month of a period. Its nice but at the same time you dont know if its going to come or not. Well i guess thats about it. But if u live close to New york. You better sent me the cold lol or if u are close to being cold or its cold sent it to TEXAS please lol..I really hope you like this new layout. I worked on yet another drawing. I just feel like i wanna be different then all the other layouts.. Hoping to keep this new layout for two or 3 weeks. Or when ever i decide to change it and for now i am happy with all of it. :) i do want to create something amazing i just haven't found that just yet.. Well leave me some love. Talk soon!

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